Alissa Blaney <-- that's my name.

I'm an artist living near Dayton, Ohio, and I have a truly warped sense of humor.

-Wait, you probably knew that already.
But I think if Buddha worked as many years in retail and customer service as I have,
even he might have a few choice words. I work on the serious artwork when I can,
and when I am feeling too down, turn out insanely silly nonsense to brighten my day.
I have a day job, and to make ends meet I also sell my creations on Etsy (see link above).
In my spare time I write & illustrate stories such as you find here.

   
  Now, a few words about each of my stories:
     
 

The idea came to me at my sister's wedding. I was trying to explain WHY I hated fairies so much. They are always shown as slender, elegant beauties; wealthy, sexy, and magical besides. So I'm JEALOUS, alright? I declared that they seemed no more real to me than the models in magazines, hardly representative of the general population. So I thought to write a series of exposes about what the rest of the fairies are REALLY like, drawing inspiration from news and magazine articles. Originally I planned out 4 story arcs, but only the first, Minimum Wage Faeries, has been written. The second is called Black Market Faeries, and I may someday finish it.

Does it have a happily ever after?

...well, it IS a fairy tale...

This story started with a dream I had one night. I let it bubble on the back burner for a few months, and one night suddenly spurted out an outline of some 30 chapters. I started looking for a time period; the 15th century was too early, and 1820 was too late. Finally settled on the year 1761, for reasons that may become clear in Chapter 6. While researching the 18th century, I sketched some 11 chapters in pencil/ink, and am trying to decide what the finished product should look like. I want it to be just as lovely as Storming Heaven, without taking 6-8 hours per page, double for a splash page- I can't maintain 3 updates per week that way.

Sauron tells ALL in his private diary.

Mr. Dougherty and I were geeking on LoTR. He pointed out that all we know of Saurons personality came from Gandalf... who had heard of Sauron but NEVER EVEN MET HIM. I pointed out that the One Ring was Sauron's rightful property. What if this was one great big misunderstanding?

ETA: I'm hoping January, but we'll see.

If this doesn't pan out (and I've yet to get ANY writing out of Mr. D-) I'm considering doing a fancomic of Princess Bride, about Inigo & Fezzik's adventures as Dread Pirate Roberts, because I think that would just be awesome- but I just don't have the time to do it all myself. Do I have any writers who'd like to write for a Sunday paper-style fancomic?

I wrote this story on my way to work one day, oh, about three jobs ago. It came from a joke a few days before about The Happy Little Cog, a communist primer. (Don't go looking for the book;
it doesn't exist). I started thinking, books and tv give kids high expectations of life that is just not attainable by everyone.
Why not a demotivational children's story to help
the future cartpushers and fast-food workers of the world
accept their lot?

This was another flash of genius.
Something my friend said inspired me with the idea
of T-shirts that said too much, and the logo was a shoo-in.
This is last on my long list of to-dos,
so I may as well admit that it won't happen.

I was inspired by a quote about the Celts believing so strongly in reincarnation that they would sometimes arrange loans payable in the next life. Then Christianity came to Ireland, bringing with it the promise of Heaven. When Ossian is baptised by St. Patrick as he lays dying, how far will Niamh go to get him back?

There are so many stories about the hero descending to the underworld to retrieve his beloved; why not a fairy princess storming Heaven to retrieve her human lover?

 

 

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Shadow has been with me longer than any other idea, and I have so far not been able to do it justice. I wrote it as an antidote to all the hero stories out there. We know who the hero is; he has a thousand faces. Everyone else in the stories only appears there in relation to the hero, always in his shadow....

Let me put it this way; the story is like a play, and it is time for the curtain to go up. However- the hero and the leading lady have not arrived! But the play MUST go on, so the rest of the players take the stage. Standard sidekicks, all. But they are not Heroes, they cannot do the Heroic deeds necessary, so the Story is in a state of collapse all around them. They must discover who they are when they are not in the Hero's shadow, and what they truly want.

 

Alissa Blaney 2012